The Right Tool for the Job? Funny.

It has come to my attention that I have readers that eagerly anticipate each new entry in this blog, and when I go on funny hiatus for months at a time, it leaves them sapped of the very energy that allows them to live.  I don't want anyone to die, so I'll try to write more often.  You're welcome.

There is a strange phenomenon that happens when teaching Foods class.  Actually, I suppose there are many.  For example...

This:

I hate ALL vegetables.  You insult me by suggesting I include them in this dish.  I wish you were dead. 

Becomes this:

 

This is the BEST soup ever.  What's it called?  Minestrone?  It's made entirely of vegetables?  Can't be.  I wish you weren't such a liar.

  Or this:

 How can I possibly get these dishes clean????  I wish you were dead.

Becomes this: 

 

 I've discovered the wonders of soap!!! 

It's a place of endless discovery, the Foods room.  

It's also a place of weird, inexplicable obsession.

Obsession with...this.

 

NOT Wolverine's disembodied claw.  Or a potato masher.  But then...I am a liar, right?

And THIS.

THE GREATEST TOOL EVER CREATED.

 

I present to you...WHISK!!!

What is it good for?

Everything, my good man!!!

Everything?  It can't be true.  Tell me more!

It blends!  It mixes!  Use it for every recipe!  Even when you are told not to!

And is it easy to wash?

No!  It's fiddly and difficult and generally put back dirty!  But that's part of its charm!   

Is there NOTHING it can't do??

Probably!  But we'll use it anyway!  After all, our teacher is a liar!

 

 We are the best!  Whisk for the win!

I should really inspect all the whisks.  I suspect that they are laced with crack cocaine that is released when they are used.  There is no other explanation.  Seriously.  Every student is obsessed with the damn whisk.  They want to use it for everything.  It doesn't matter if I advise against it.  It doesn't matter if I hide them- they will find them.  The love affair with the whisk starts early and only grows stronger.  From the moment they plunge that whisk into a sticky, thick cookie batter to the first time they use it to knead pizza dough, they are hooked.

 

I don't know what it is about the whisk that they love so much.  I'm not sure what it is that I said or did that made them think that the key to culinary success lies in using, at all times, this innocuous little tool.

 

But they are convinced, and no matter how many times I throw up my hands and tear out my hair and shriek

 

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE DON'T USE THE WHISK!!!  STOP YOUR OBSESSION WITH THE WHISK!!!  WHY DO YOU LOVE THE WHISK SO MUCH?!?!?!?!?  BLARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH"

 

it does not seem to change their minds.  Whisk is where it is at.

 

Maybe I should put some time into developing whisk-related recipes.  Maybe for each recipe there should just be a whisking step..."Measure a cup of water.  Whisk it, because you are uncontrollably compelled to do so.  Continue as normal."

After all...

 

 

Moral of this story: If I don't bother saving pictures onto my computer before copying them into my blog, the formatting is weird.  But I'm too lazy to fix it.