It might be really ill-advised. I just watched a couple episodes of the American version and while most of what they did I think I could handle, I don't know if it's a scene that I would thrive in. I might end up being a villainous joke. There's always "that guy" on the show, and I feel like if I wasn't careful, I would be "that guy" before they realized that I am not in fact a guy at all.
Doubts aside, I'm writing up the application, and I'm finding it tricky.
For one, it is making me think about myself in ways that are too self-reflective for something that is sort of imaginary at this point. There are questions like "What is your single greatest achievement?" and "What is the one word that you would use to describe yourself?"
These are the questions that we get on job interviews that we laugh at later, and make jokes about saying ridiculous crap to.
"My single biggest accomplishment thus far has to be when I ate six pounds of feta cheese in one sitting. No one witnessed it, but I know that it was amazing."
"One word that I always use to describe myself is 'bonanza'."
"I'd have to say that my greatest achievement has been that I haven't had a haircut in over a year."
"I like to say I'm 'oblique'."
I mean, what the hell? I wrote stuff about how I'm happy, and my life is swell, so that's a pretty big deal. I haven't picked a word. Masterchef is one word in the title of the show, I kind of feel like being an ass and putting that.
I kind of feel like being an even BIGGER ass and writing something like "Belt."
At least it doesn't ask which animal I would be, or what colour I am. Um...red panda, and...greeny beige, I guess.
I'm finding it a bit tricky reining in the tendency to write smartaleck crap all through the form. I haven't completely lost it, though- I figure, if they are going to take me on this show, they need to know what they are in for. One of the ways that I deal with stress (if you haven't figured it out already) is through humour. I make a lot of jokes in a lot of stupid situations because otherwise I will freak out or cry, and I don't like to do either (although I'm certainly not immune) so I "crack wise".
Another reason that I might turn out to be "that guy".
"You know who should be kicked off this show? That wiseass Heather. What does that even MEAN, she describes herself as 'ottoman'???"
Anyway, I thought I'd write an entry about not being funny, which is a bit of a left turn for me and this blog, but it's helping me get some of the sarcasm out of my system so I can be ever so slightly more serious for the serious business that is my online application to a reality television cooking program.
...wait. What?
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