Kids? Funny.

Sometimes I'm not that funny.  When inspiration of my own does not hit, and I feel like writing nonetheless, I can always draw on that endless source of funny: the world of Junior High.
It is a strange land, one that is all too familiar to the viewer yet completely foreign at the same time.  It is a virtual banquet- nay, BUFFET- of hilarious happenings.  Sure, sure, there's also the complete and utter devastation of being a hormone-riddled teenager full of angsty blather waiting to come out at inopportune moments, but mostly, it's funny.  At least...to me.

So if I can't think of something that I can do or did to be funny, I'll write about something amusing from work.

Thus I give you

Case Study #1: Hungry Teenager

 Kids are hungry all the damn time.  Especially boys.  Teaching Foods is a drag because apparently, my room is a place void of social mores and cultural expectations and the normal greeting of "Hello" is consistently replaced by "ARE WE COOOOOOKING???".  It's annoying.  But that's one of the few drawbacks to teaching what is probably the most favored class in the school.  It's certainly the most taken class- every jerk and their jerk friends take my class.  But I digress.

The hungry teenager I'm going to tell you about was actually hungry in FRENCH class, so forget all that stuff about Foods class.  Instead, imagine a room where there are so many dicks drawn on the wall, the teacher gets a can of paint and paints the whole thing black.

Again, I digress.

I'm teaching one day.  I see this kid chewing intently on something.  He seems perplexed.

"What are you eating?"

(munch munch SWALLOW) "Candle."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah...the guy at the store said it was edible."

"EDIBLE DOES NOT MEAN EAT IT"

Yeah.  All you parental units out there take heed- when they say they're hungry, they really, really are.  If you want any candles, paper, crayons, makeup, spices or play-doh left in your house, feed them real food.

Moral of this story: If I find ONE MORE PENIS ON THIS WALL, so help me...