Movin' Like Bernie? Funny.

When I was a kid, there were a few dances that caught on and people learned.  The Macarena, for one.  At junior high dances, for some reason, we all danced with this sort of stirring motion of our hands, while twisting our hips in the other direction.  I don't know why.  If you are a child of the 80s, you know what I'm talking about...and if you don't, think of Monica's bad dance on Friends.  It was like that.
The early to mid 90s were a time of the "choreographed dance" movie, too.  "She's All That" featured a high school graduation where, for some reason, all the kids had learned a dance and everyone did it at the same time.
That seemed sort of weird, but also strangely compelling.  I remember being on grad committee and a lot of the members were convinced that we were going to perform a great dance routine...we even had ballroom dance instructors come in and teach us a bunch of stuff that none of us ever did again.  It was super awkward, in a time when we were at our utmost level of awkwardness, but it was actually sort of fun, and I remember dancing with my friend Andrew and both of us thinking it was rad.
Anyway, that whole "let's all learn a dance and fuss over each other while we do it" thing still exists.  Now kids are learned such classics as "The Bernie" and "Cat Daddy".
I've taken it upon myself to learn both these 'dances'.
And so can you!

The Bernie

You know "Weekend At Bernie's"?  Where Bernie is dead, but they have to make it seem like he's alive, so they can keep on partying?

Well, there is now a 'dance' based on him.  It's not so much a dance as it is a way of moving around.  You should watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcuLSw5aS-8&noredirect=1

It's pretty funny.  The part where he goes through checkout is my favorite.

So, one of my kids comes in and is walking all weird, and I'm like "Limbo craze?" and they're like "No.  Watch this video."

So I did, and the next class, I moved like Bernie, and was a hit.  

A lot of people get really mad at kids.  They think they're annoying.  Especially when they are being loud and laughing about something.

If the laughter of children bothers you, and makes you enraged, you should really review your values.

I may spend a day moving like Bernie.  If I ever have to buy nerf guns, I really hope I remember.

The Cat Daddy

I was told by a group of students (who had witnessed my amazing Bernie) that I should learn the "Cat Daddy", to impress my husband.  Now, I know that Bob is already blown away by my superior dance moves, so he needs no more impressing.  However, I was intrigued.  What dance could possibly be so amazing that it would impress?  How could it possibly be better than the Bernie (which, if you don't already know, and you didn't bother watching the video, consists of leaning backwards, allowing your arms to go limp, and basically going about your daily business)?

Could there BE a more complex, intricate dance???

I grew up in the age of the MACARENA, people!  THE ACHY BREAKY HEART!  How could this "Cat Daddy" IMPRESS???

Well, I looked it up when I got home, and I was first met with these results:

 Which made me think that they were playing a trick on me.

As it turns out, the young lady in the picture and the videos is someone named Kate Upton, who partook in the "Cat Daddy" while shooting for Maxim or Sports Illustrated or some other soft core magazine, and that kinda sorta creepy older dude in the shot is the photographer.

So I looked for the original "Cat Daddyers", or whatever you would call them, since I figured- "If Kate UPTON is doing it, it MUST be awesome!!!".  I neglected to actually watch her video.

I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BZGgf4BtVY

If you again skip the video, which I understand- you have enough time to read my blather, but not enough to watch some random youtube junk, that's good, your priorities are right where I want them- I can sum up the Cat Daddy for you.

The Cat Daddy In A Nutshell

1. It has nothing to do with cats.

2. It has nothing to do with Daddies.

3. It is only slightly more complicated than the Bernie.

4. The stuff that passes for dancing these days is...just about as abysmal as in my day.

Basically, you gesture down and across in front of your body with your left arm.  Then with your right.  Then you do a "wheelchair" motion with both, twice.  Then you repeat, but alternate the arms.

All together now!

Left arm right arm wheelchair wheelchair

Right arm left arm wheelchair wheelchair

Etcetera.

In the video, the talented young gentlemen who are demonstrating this latest craze suggest some ways of improving your "Cat Daddy" and making it more interesting.  I was pretty sold on the basic moves, being so elaborate as they are, but I dig that you can freestyle the shit outta this dance.  Examples: bend your knees while wheelchairing!  You appear more physically disabled.  Twist while wheelchairing!  It's like you're turning your chair.  Throw some kicks in there!  People will be stunned that even though you APPEAR to be in a wheelchair, you are able to use your legs!!!  It's a dance miracle.

But enough about the learning process.  More importantly, I DID learn the Cat Daddy, and when asked if I had looked it up, I simply replied with a stunning five-second display of slam-dunk Cat Daddy that had the crowd on their feet.  Well, they were already standing, but basically, I rocked their worlds.

I brought it out again at the grad dance.  It was amazing.

The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes, it's very funny to learn some silly "skill" just to amuse others.  For me, it's been some very difficult coordinated dance moves.  For you, it could be to play the slide whistle, or to juggle squid, or to speak Latin.  Whatever it is, go out there and figure it out and impress your friends and family!!

Moral of this story: Who wants to go buy some nerf guns?