Playing Dress Up? Funny.

For Yvonne, who, I think, is becoming accustomed to my habit of coming up with schemes that do not come to light.

Once upon a time, I was in Junior High, and I, like all humans of that age, believed I was the most important person to ever walk on the planet.  And I thought I could do no wrong.

It was Halloween time and my two female friends wanted to dress as prostitutes.  Not kidding.  I, on the other hand, was a bit of a tomboy (I once wore my Dad's pants to school- it was ill-advised to do so on a day that we had dance class, considering his 34 inch waist on my 14-year-old frame, and no belt to boot), so I decided to take the high road and go with: hobo.

When I started to get dressed to go out with my hooker friends, my Mom looked at my outfit (which wasn't really all that different from my regular clothes) and asked "What are you supposed to be?", to which I replied, in all my brilliance: "Dirty".

That didn't fly, so I was then hurriedly dressed as "Dead Lawyer", another instance where I got to wear my father's clothes.  The costume was well-received in our upper-middle class neighbourhood full of divorcees and white-collar criminals.

Anyway, the point of all that is I am now pretty committed when it comes to costuming.  I don't ever intend on repeating the "dirty hobo" fiasco.

Side note: in case you are wondering, the two girls did not end up dressed as prostitutes.  They were "hippies".  I think their conversation may have been slightly more awkward than my "dirty" one.

 So now, when faced with an opportunity to dress up, I go all out- no pre-made costumes, no recycled costumes, no halfway anything.  Full out balls to the wall dress up.

This is definitely a way in which, in most cases, one can fit in some good comedic follow through in one's life.

Example 1: Comic Expo Cosplay
Last year, I went as Ash Ketchum, and looked rad.  I met a Misty at the Expo and we took a picture.  It's an amazing display of awkwardness.  I was the only Ash but I must have set a trend- this year, we saw at least 6 more Ash...es.  Ashii?  Ashs?  Anyway.  I was groundbreaking.

This year, my friend wanted to be Daenerys, from Game of Thrones.  I helped a bit with her costume and decided it would be suitable to go as Doreah, her handmaiden.  APPARENTLY no one knows who that is, because I spent the better part of the day being pushed aside by rabid nerds wanting a picture with Daenerys without some other broad spoiling the frame.  It was actually fairly amusing, considering I could out-geek a lot of these supposed "fans".

Next year?  I'm not telling.  That's part of the beauty of dressing up.  The element of surprise.

Example 2: Beerfest
Now, you may be thinking: this is not a venue for dressing up.  It is a place of drinking, nothing more.  And to you I would say: WRONG!  What a lost opportunity for someone so closed-minded.
As the fates would have it, Beerfest fell on Cinco De Mayo (the fifth of May, for those of you who don't read Spanish).  Had we gone on May 4th, we certainly would have dressed as Jedis and thanked everyone with a "May The Fourth Be With You".  But no it was Cinco De Mayo, and we would dress as Mexicans, hoping to avoid any real Mexicans lest they be offended.

Heather's Guide to: Dressing Like a Mexican (don't try this in Mexico, for the love of god)

Step 1: Purchase straw hats at dollar store.
Step 2: Supplement with multi-coloured floor rugs.
Step 3: Cut head holes in rugs.
Step 4: Adorn selves with "ponchos" and "sombreros".  Proceed to Beerfest.  Beeline to ticket sales and procure at least $100 worth of tickets.  Drink at a rapid rate.
Step 5: When someone says "Happy Cinco De Mayo!", throw hats onto floor with gusto, sing the Mexican Hat Dance song and dance around.  Finish with a hearty "Ole!".
Step 6: Repeat as necessary.

 Instant Mexican!

Example 3: Grad
This one is not going to come to fruition in real life, but it's dang funny in my head.  And I think there may be an opportunity here for a modified follow-through at a different location.
So let's say you are a teacher.  And let's say you teach one of those grades where people think they are progressing to a new stage and require a Graduation Ceremony.  Like kindergarten.  Or Grade 6.  Or Grade 9.  Or Grade 12.  There are a lot of these stages.  Anyway, let's choose one for example's sake....how about Grade 9???
Ok so you teach Grade 9, and the day approacheth where the children will no longer be children, but...wait, they'll still be children.  They'll no longer go to school, but...wait...yes they will.  Oh I remember.  It's the all-important movement from junior high to Senior High.  
And you find out that this day will be celebrated at the very same venue that hosted your OWN Grade 9 grad.
How surreal.
Anyway so then imagine that you suggest to your colleague that it would be funny (see how this comedic follow through thing works?!) if you still had your grad dress from Grade 9 and you wore it as a chaperone.  Ha ha, right?  And then imagine that your colleague totally gets on board and rallies the fun troops from work and you're all going to get amazing retro dresses and look awesome and actually have a good time!
Hilarious, right?
So while this might not be feasible in real life, for a number of reasons, here's how I propose the follow-through alternative goes: 

How to Relive Grad like it's the 90s

Step 1: Purchase/find outstanding grad dresses.  Remember the rule of not costly. 

Step 2: Don said dresses.

Step 3: Gather at suitable venue- retro night at a club/pub, someone's house with retro tunes on the ghetto blaster (remember when we called them that?  Jeez).

Step 4: Drink Mike's Hard and Smirnoff Ice and barf.

...that sounds pretty much like what my Grade 9 grad was like.

Moral of this story: Dress up like you mean it.  It's funny.